The People You Attract Into Your Life

I’m thinking about the people we draw into our lives.  Not too deeply, though…well, not as deeply as other things I rant about here from time to time.

ImageI truly feel we bring about connections with like-minded individuals, and that even the most mundane encounters – a customer interaction at a store, randomly adding someone on Facebook, or just jumping into a conversation between two strangers at a party – are following some exquisite combination of fate, serendipity, and magnetic response to whatever energy you’re putting out.

The whole Law of Attraction paradigm talks about “like attracting like”, and this applies to groups and how they meet.

Still, how can this be true when you’re surrounded by people completely different from you?  Sure, you all might have one central project or interest that unites you, but other than that, you’re each worlds apart on everything else from musical tastes to politics.  So, what the hell, right?

That’s how most of my undergraduate life was: my Fraternity brothers studied different fields, had different outlooks, radically different personalities, and yet we were as close as brothers could be back in the day, even now with a few of them.  Phi Delta Theta was the common glue that brought us together, but until we started to grow together as friends over time, sharing new experiences together, that was all we had in common.

Even now, with my writers guild, the Toronto Wordslingers, I find myself surrounded by unique real-life characters that I’ve likened to our very own Six Man Band: we all play different instruments. Aside from our common passion for writing, we started out very different.  But we’re growing together on a few ideas, even if they don’t realize it yet.

So, if we’re to believe in the Law of Attraction, and if we’re to believe, within that greater belief, that “like attracts like”, “birds of a feather flock together” kind of thing, again, what the hell do we make of this diversity?

The answer’s in our dreams.

(No, not like Inception.)

(Well, maybe a little.)

ImageSee, if you follow the Jungian school, you believe that dream images are archetypes of things happening in the subconscious mind.

That Old Man in last night’s dream about New York who told you to head over to Katz’ Deli for some brisket with Meg Ryan? He represents wisdom.  The Cabbie who knocked your ass down with his car while you were crossing East Houston?  He represents your doubts.  The Slacker Kid who pointed and laughed at you while you squirmed on the pavement?  Cynicism. Or possibly innocence lost.

Right, you get the program.

In the dream, each of those people appears to you for a reason. It’s symbolic, of course, but if you believe in Jungian dream analysis, you can relate all of those images to something you’re dealing with in your real life.

According to the Law of Attraction, though, real life works the same way.

ImageEveryone emits subtle energy.  Sometimes, it’s anything but subtle. Need, joy, anxiety, lust, adoration: you don’t even have to be any kind of wizard to pick it up from a person if you just pay attention.

In fact, most of  the time, you won’t even notice your responses to someone else’s vibes because they’ll come from your own unconscious reactions. Ever had someone set you off for absolutely no reason? You don’t know them, they didn’t do anything: they just walked into the room and suddenly you got angry, or scared, or nervous?

There is a reason: you’re vibe is just out of sync with theirs and you’re noticing it on an unconscious level.  As always, there’s practically no scientific evidence for this, but nonetheless, this phenomenon exists.  You just have to look for it and work with it for a while to see what I mean.

The Law of Attraction brings together like vibrations, and so you’ll attract people who match your vibrations.  I use “vibrations” in the plural because there are different parts of your mind at work, different desires. Nobody’s got it all together all the time.

Take a housewife in an unhappy marriage, for instance. She may have a strong desire to leave, but can’t yet act for any number of reasons.  She feels unappreciated, undesired, unfulfilled, but hasn’t yet manifested her means to get out, so the desire builds up.  That build-up of energy shifts her vibration to match the attention, desire, and fulfilment she’s seeking.

And lo and behold, she attracts individuals who can give her what she wants: a new trainer at the gym; a  neighbour she never really talked to before; an ex boyfriend come out of the woodwork, etc..

Like the dream archetypes, the individuals the unhappy housewife attracts represent those parts of herself: unfulfilled desire, loneliness, stuckness, desperation, longing.

We’re not even talking about morals and the rightness or wrongness of such actions: these groupings of like-vibrational people happen by law, whether you believe in the law or not, whether you notice it or not.

(And before you accuse me of sexism, you can just as easily switch the genders for this construct I’m using. In fact, men are still 2-to-1 favorites to ruin their marriages through cheating, if the statistics are true.)


And yet….that unhappy housewife is also sending out another big vibration: the desire to escape.

In that capacity, she will also attract those who will help her do that: new opportunities for work; a college class so she can build up one of her passions, and one or two new colleagues who become closest friends, who can help prepare her for a difficult road to either reconciliation of her marriage, or a new adventure after it.

Most people send out similar mixed vibrations.  Until you get your head and heart together into what Bob Proctor calls “praxis” – the integration of belief with behaviour – your vibrations will always be mixed, meaning you’ll attracted a mixture of results and people into your life.  Even then, each person you meet has something unique to teach you about where you’re at inside, even if it’s a lesson you don’t want to hear.

Who was it that said that we’re all angels to each other, come to answer each other’s unspoken prayers?

And that’s the last part of this equation: you drew these people to you, but they also drew you to them.

Think of the people in your life, the ones who lift you up, tear you down, shove you forward, hold you back. Despite all of your differences, perhaps because of them, you attracted each other. Which one of those archetypes are you to them?  How will you define yourself in relation to them?

I want to stress: within the Law of Attraction paradigm, it doesn’t matter whether you believe you’re a good person or a bad person, it’s always working according to whatever imagery’s eating up the most space in your subconscious.  Like the law of gravity, you could be Mother Teresa or Charles Manson, but if someone pushes you out of an airplane without a parachute, you’re going to be street pizza no matter who you are.  Once you get past worrying about where you measure against society’s moral structures and look objectively, you’ll see the manifest truth of everything I’ve said.

Anyway, that’s just where my head’s at tonight.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lunch date at Katz’s…(yeah, in my dreams!)


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